Essay - It's All About Sex

Inara de Luna (c) September 2005

Why is it always all about sex? Have you heard someone say this, or perhaps have you said it before? Many people tend to get disgusted with how much sex is used in advertising. “Sex sells,” is the standard response. We, as a society, want to relegate sex to private, monogamous, bedroom interactions. The military has its “Don’t ask; don’t tell” policy. Teachers and other professionals are encouraged to keep their relationship status out of their workplace in various ways. Movies and television shows and video games all have to clearly state if they include any type of sexual content, and many of these can only be shown at certain times or at certain places, and to certain people (those considered “of age”). Sex is a taboo topic of conversation in “polite” social situations, and many people would like for it to be completely obliterated from our children’s education.

What people don’t understand is that sex IS a part of everything. Sex is, literally, what makes the world go ‘round. The most obvious example of the truth of this, of course, is that if we didn’t have sex, none of us would be here. We need to reproduce as a species, and the best way to do so is through sexual intercourse. But there are so many other ways that the concept of sex can be seen to be present in all things.

Let’s look at the word “yoga,” for a moment. It means, in Sanskrit, “union.” Well, what does the word “union” mean? Basically, union is the bringing together of multiple things into one new thing. In yoga, it’s usually taken to mean that one uses the practices and techniques of yoga to achieve union between the mind, the body and the spirit. Or to achieve union between man and the divine, or between oneself and all of creation.

Sexual union is usually understood to be a joining between (usually) two people into what feels, briefly, like one new entity. Have you ever experienced that feeling of not knowing where your skin ends and your lover’s begins? Have you ever been so attuned to someone that it seemed as if you could read each other’s thoughts, or knew exactly what each other’s bodies were craving? Sex and yoga are both unions.

And if we expand our concept of sex to include the entire spectrum of sexuality practices, including the dance of attraction, then we can explore our metaphor further. The sexual dance of the cosmos, the sexual interplay of atoms and molecules…the “marriage” of ideas…engaging in conversational intercourse…sex is a give and take, a play of interrelation, a joining and melding and unifying force, however that force manifests.

If we weren't so afraid of the power of that force, we could relax into it and enjoy the many ways we can interact with that force. Perhaps it's too much of a stretch to think of sex as a universal force. Think of it this way: sexual energy and creative energy come from the same source - the universal life force. We are always constantly creating in multitudes of ways: fixing dinner, crafting a persuasive argument, designing the layout of your new house, even dressing yourself everyday is an act of creation. That creative energy, at its core, is the same as the generative energy associated with sex. We call on the same life force energy when we decided to create something new, or just to practice creating something new (as in a baby, during sex).

Have you ever experienced a rush of ecstacy outside of the bedroom? A final triumphal moment in a game or race, a deeply satisfying sense of accomplishment upon completion of a major or important task, a deep sense of contentedness, serenity or joy in any situation...these are all akin to the orgasmic rush at the peak of a sexual experience. Even supposedly non-sexual spiritual mystics enjoyed moments of ecstasy in communion with their Creator or God, moments which sound suspiciously like sexual gratification when reading their own descriptions of the experience.

Sex can be seen as to be pervasive in all things and you can learn to recognize the sensual dimension of every part of your life, thus making of your life a sacred sensual expression of divine communion. It is all about sex...but that's not such a bad thing....